Southwest of Glasgow is Galloway Forest Park. There’s not much there by way of tourist attractions, but it’s a big green spot on the map that I hadn’t been to, so I figured it was worth taking a day trip over to see. There was a marker on the map for Loch Doon Castle, and castles are cool, so I made sure the route took me that way.
My route took me past Clatteringshaws Loch and up into the mountains/hills of the park.
Did This Park Kill JFK?
All of the signs for the park included the sub-header description of it as “Dark Skies Park” which
A) sounds really cool and mysterious for a park, but
2) “Dark Skies” is also the name of a short-lived 90s TV show about aliens and the conspiracy to cover them up set in the 60s, which included the aliens/conspirators actually being the ones to kill JFK because the main characters had just told him about the aliens and he planned on looking into it (oh, uh, spoilers).
But really, the Dark Skies Park title is something Scotland is handing out to places and communities that limit their nighttime light pollution so that you can see the stars at night. Which I had no idea was a thing! I just planned on driving out somewhere late at night when I’m staying in Inverness and trying to see the Milky Way. But now there’s a whole website and a map of places that have inky dark night skies \o/
Where The Brown Fern Grows
There was a point as I wound up into the mountains on the western edge of the park that everything was covered in these brown… grasses? Shrubs? I don’t know what, but it blanketed the landscape. A quick google search doesn’t tell me what it is, other than maybe just weirdly dead grass? But it made for a striking series of vistas and sprawling brown landscapes.
A Road By Any Other Name
Getting over to Loch Doon Castle either required going up to the top of the park and then back down, or just cutting across the park on (as Google Maps helpfully refers to it) “Unnamed Road”. Which turned out to be an unpaved forest staff access road that -according to the signs – are technically open to the public. Calling this a “road” is being generous. It was a gravel path with potholes the size of beach balls. WHICH IS SO COOL. I’m in a fuckin Range Rover, this car was MEANT for this road. I swerved and dodged the bumps, cracks, and holes of this “road” all the way to my destination.
So We’re Calling This A Castle 2.0
Oh Loch Doon Castle. You’re… so wee. So small. So technically a castle, I guess. It’s just a small circle ruin, no bigger than a house. I trawled my way across the park on an unused access road for this? Sometimes the journey is more important than the destination.
Goat Park! Goat Park Just Around The Corner! Come One, Come All!
(read in the voice of the Banana Man for listeners of Judge John Hodgman)
Based on the signs announcing the impending appearance of Wild Goat Park, I was expecting a lot more than… a trough with half a dozen goats eating at it off the side of the road. I mean… cool. Goats. With horns. But… guys. Come on.
The Route:
